the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
