Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck

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(916): View more from California

It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

(1-916): View more from California

That's why you should quit smoking.

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(480): View more from Arizona

so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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(404): View more from Georgia

my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.

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(775): View more from Nevada

he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I am mentally ready for anal.

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