I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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