Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This house was built for laser tag.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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