I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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