found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
