i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
