break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
