She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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