Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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