hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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