I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
