Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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