Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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