I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
