why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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