Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
