Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
