I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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