Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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