i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
