she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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