Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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