He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize