The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
