flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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