he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
