I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
