First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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