i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize