I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
