I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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