she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
