he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
