i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
