Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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