I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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