we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize