Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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