bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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