Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
