you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Found the puke drawer
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
