Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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