If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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