in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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