I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
