I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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