He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
