Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
