you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't think brook has ever known best
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
