It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I love you.
Bad choice
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