I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
