I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
