Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
