She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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