he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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