why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
