i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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