Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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