i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
