ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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