i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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