I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize