I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize